when do i work?

more scheduling issues. not like before. i know how to handle giselle. husband. lola. willie. bilo. laundry. dinner. dusting. organizing. de-cluttering. facebook time. internet searching. design upkeep. school drop off/pick up. grocery shopping. texting. future planning. reading a fucking book every now and then. dishes. videography. interior design. clothes. dirty floors. plants. grass. showering. eating. working out. giving up the beauty of my tits up to nursing. day dreaming. socializing. family. blogging. photography. but i have one issue. my design business is booming.... when can i work? i have three free times, equaling 30-60 minutes a day for free time. most of which are filled with the above. now, since i have a customer or 10, i have to find time to design. and eventually create my OWN website so my clients can see i am legit and have talent. at what moment in the day do i include theworking/makingmoney/myfuture/mysanity/creativetime? not really sure. guess once i get paid i will use that money for a FUCKING nanny a couple hours once in a while.

on another note, here is my little lafayette to all my trueblood fans.

right?

Rock. Sleep. Cry.

Failure!

Little Beaner Toot was NOT happy about mommy trying to change her sleep situation!

So, the usual plan is this (when I say usual, I mean it is the same action night to night down to the way I whisper in her ear to how I gently lay her in the crib)… One or both of us bath her/Prepare her for bed. I then sit in the rocking chair with LB. She lays on the Boppy (nursing pillow i could not live with out) as I follow the same night time ritual to get her to fall fast asleep. I sometimes need to pull out an array of creative tricks to seal the deal but for the most part, this is the way the first part of the evening goes.

Bean will typically wake any time between midnight to 3AM. At this time she just whines a little, one of us will go to get her and bring her in the bed (king size thank goodness) with us and she nurses to sleep. She will often times wake one-three more times through out the night (can not be specific because most of the time I don’t even remember) to nurse. We have been fine with this schedule/night ritual/sleep plan. Whatever you want to call it. Until the last week, I explained last night.

As I went into her room last night, I found Toot in crawling position waiting calmly for me to pick her up, change her and bring her in my room. But this time, after the diaper change, I sat down in her rocker and tried the new plan. … Uh… I wish I had a camera on her at this moment. Lo looked at me (did not even start to nurse yet) and just stared into my eyes. Her hands loosely together fidgeting, eyes stuck on my every movement, this little girl wanted to know “why the hell are we sitting here and not going into OUR bed?”

This lasted for what seemed like 20 minutes. She finally nursed. Fell fast asleep and I stood up, placed her sweet little fat ass into her bed. NOPE. She was not having that.

Cry
Rock
Sleep
OUR Bed
Kick (not sleep)
HER bed
Cry
Scream
Cry
OUR bed
SLEEP……Finally FUCK.

She then slept the night away until the morning.

Now, what is my plan tonight?
I have no damn clue.
Any suggestions?

Tummy Time

Lola Bean is 13 weeks now. She is just precious.
She can now....
"Coo" & "Goo" which is by far the coolest thing in the world so far.
She can Toot & giggle about it. It is just plane silly.
She recognizes Me, Daddy, Sissy & Angie. The feeling I get when some one else holds her and all she wants to do is find me and smile her biggest smile...well, it is just warming to my heart.
She can kick for things on her play mat. Oh and poops during that too.
Her favorite things include bath time, mirror time, standing time, and sling time.
That sling is a wonderful thing. I am so happy we don't have a kid carrier. I think our bond is better with the sling.
She now sleeps in her crib for all of her naps and for the beginning of her night sleep. She wakes about 1am when I feed her and then bring her into the bed with us. I love co-sleeping. She scoots as close as she can to me. Every time. Her face always ends up in my armpit. Ha
She is still nursing exclusively. She does get a bottle of pumped milk at least once every other day. She does well with that.
Our favorite thing to do with her is talk in foul language in a cutesy manner. The more vulgar the better. We crack up!!!
She is now on a schedule. And I do not like to stray from that. It makes our easy life stressful. She doesn't like a change in her environment. I can see it stresses her out. She wants the same smells, the same visuals, the same sounds, the same blanket, the same nap times. I don't blame her. That is what comforts me. I think it builds trust.
She still takes a pacifier when she is just falling asleep. Then I take it out. I never intended on her taking one. But this little lady wants it. She needs it. It pacifies her. Her little eyes roll back into her head and she falls right to sleep. Why take something away from her that is so helpful and comforting to us all?
Below are two photos. She HATES tummy time. She just looks so uncomfortable and unnatural. So We do modified tummy time. This is how we did it today. She liked it.

Here she is in the beginning.

She then got a little pooped. I can't blame her.

I adore her. Jim said every one talked about how when she comes...that is when you fall right in love with her. They say that is when it all comes into place. I know for me.... this time, I think that didn't happen until about 2 weeks ago. When I knew SHE needed ME. That I am how she survives. That my food for her nourishes her. That she needs me to talk to her in order to develop. That she needs my touch to survive. I am her Mother. And it was about then I fell in love with her. It took longer with her than it did with Giselle. Maybe because I needed Giselle before she even came. With Lola, she joined a happy, loving, healthy family that wanted her here. I had time to fall in love. With no pressure.

It is a wonderful life.