Friday, October 14, 2011

I have High Expectations

I have high expectations.

For some reason, in the recent months, this characteristic I have, has been considered a negative thing. Before people got close to me, they saw Giselle. They complimented her. They complimented me. My motherhood. My mothering skills.

What the fuck happened?

All of the sudden, people say or act as if I am too strict. As if I restrict too much. As if I think nothing is good enough.

When I was growing up, nothing was expected of me. I had potential. I was, I could have been… something great. I could have been something like Steve Jobs or a scientist finding a cure. I am not that today. I was not held up to my own standards. I am different. I always knew I was. Both of my girls received this from me. It is shining brightest in Giselle right at this very moment. She is so bright. She is so good. She is so much better than I was.

I think it is because of me. Not in some weird conceded way. She has what I had. Just one more thing. A parent holding her responsible, believing in her. Encouraging her to be better, to be her. To be no less than she can be.

I can only wish I was given the opportunities she was given. I can only work hard to offer her, to show her, to open her eyes to new, beautiful, encouraging abilities.

I am a hard ass. It is because, we all are able. Much more able that we are acting, than we do. And if we expect any less…. We can expect nothing more than a bag of shit. I love my children, my husband and my self. I will teach them all, and my self, responsibility, love and kindness. Today and tomorrow. It is the right thing to do.

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